my passion, my thoughts, my inspiration, my love.

very bad case of diarrhoea yesterday. 8 times i went to the toilet. too dehydrated and hungry. but i preservered till break-fast. heh.

happy belated birthday to f.
u're the same age as me. omg. hahaha. well for another 23 more days. come back soon. i want presents that are owed. *grins*

sometimes, just sometimes i can control my emotions and feelings. but sometimes they take over and you get overwhelmed by them. and you just let go. i dont want to be the person i was. i dont know how this "new" thing will affect me. it hasn't. but i fear it will eventually.

the paranoia. the over-possessiveness. the need to be dependent. the constant smses. the constant calls. jealousy. the feeling of expectations. the desire for reciprocity. the feeling to be needed. the irritatedness. the awkward silences. the lies. especially the lies.

I just pray I don't fall as far as I did the last time. I don't think I really got up from the fall. Or any other fall for that matter. Still burnt and still closed.

but who knows what's next to come in life.

at least she knows.
and im glad it's not awkward.