ive been reading alot of nd's stuff lately, which is kinda funny. cos im not the sort of person to scroll thru nonsense ramblings on other people's blogs. i find it kinda redundant, and people do change with their ramblings. at the same time, you find a totally new perspective on the person. sometimes good, sometimes bad. a post on nd's blog which was dated somewhere late in march last yr (2005) kinda summed up what i've been crazily doing right up till now. with not much thought and feeling into it. it just happens.
it is true that some people do have multiple personalities. on the phone, in person whether in groups or individually, during sports, when singing, doing dikir, online, at work, etc. you get my point. this person can be the most honest person and entertaining one online, yet can also be the boring-est person ever on the face of the universe when you talk face to face. it's possible. i go crazy online, and offline. but sometimes i do have the craziest days and the quietest days. depends.
it's a wonder how the thought or the start of a relationship (more than friends) can actually jumpstart a whole load of disapproval from both parties, especially when being forced to. sometimes i wonder whether awkwardness can dissolve between normal friends after a series of relationship talk begins. im glad it can if it was made on an honest level of friendship and that the friendship is stronger that it previously seemed.
but sometimes, it can never be crystal clear.
im bad at sustaining relationships. never had a best friend who could hang out with me more than 4 times a week, who could drop stuff at the drop of a hat to save me from trouble (like i get into trouble that often). neither have i had a real girlfriend who could make me realise the wonders of the world and make me passionate about relationships. i like meeting new people everyday, know their lives in a nutshell without judging or stereotyping them (believe me, stereotyping is somewhat an automatic process) and just hope in a clear sense that maybe after 7 weeks, i'll see that person occasionally and hang out. i've never been that person to follow friends no matter where they go. as in i never followed my close friends to the school of their choice, even if a whole bunch of them went there. from pri, sec, jc first three months, jc and uni, even the major, ive always taken the opposite path. im weird that way. but perhaps on a different level, im always going to be that person. so i better start grabbing the opportunity and the pleasures and discomforts of friendships while it lasts. cos that's the best thing that one can do. :)
you cant be really envious of others who have friends who hold friendships close to their hearts and live their lives with the same bunch of people year after year. there's the bad and good to it. i just leave ya to think about it. in my honest opinion, one cannot live their lives without friends or relationships, be it with ur family or colleagues. man is a social animal. no matter how much you delude yourself that you can stand up on your own two feet, your life is always intertwined and dependent on others. you cant really get money without having a job and a relationship with your boss who pays ya. you cant have a baby without first having a relationship (you can, even if it was ivf. you need to have a relationship with ur doc). heh. so see it in that light.
even if u cut off all ties with your parents or the people who raised ya, and start foraging for food in the jungle, you always have a relationship. just abstractly i guess. hah.
to all those people currently in relationships, keep it real.
to those people finding one, dont try too hard.
for those who just got out of one, God will always be with you and so will your friends n family.
for those of you who are like me, just think of all the good things in life. do as many crazy things as possible and cherish the people who are in your life.
thank you to all.
it is true that some people do have multiple personalities. on the phone, in person whether in groups or individually, during sports, when singing, doing dikir, online, at work, etc. you get my point. this person can be the most honest person and entertaining one online, yet can also be the boring-est person ever on the face of the universe when you talk face to face. it's possible. i go crazy online, and offline. but sometimes i do have the craziest days and the quietest days. depends.
it's a wonder how the thought or the start of a relationship (more than friends) can actually jumpstart a whole load of disapproval from both parties, especially when being forced to. sometimes i wonder whether awkwardness can dissolve between normal friends after a series of relationship talk begins. im glad it can if it was made on an honest level of friendship and that the friendship is stronger that it previously seemed.
but sometimes, it can never be crystal clear.
im bad at sustaining relationships. never had a best friend who could hang out with me more than 4 times a week, who could drop stuff at the drop of a hat to save me from trouble (like i get into trouble that often). neither have i had a real girlfriend who could make me realise the wonders of the world and make me passionate about relationships. i like meeting new people everyday, know their lives in a nutshell without judging or stereotyping them (believe me, stereotyping is somewhat an automatic process) and just hope in a clear sense that maybe after 7 weeks, i'll see that person occasionally and hang out. i've never been that person to follow friends no matter where they go. as in i never followed my close friends to the school of their choice, even if a whole bunch of them went there. from pri, sec, jc first three months, jc and uni, even the major, ive always taken the opposite path. im weird that way. but perhaps on a different level, im always going to be that person. so i better start grabbing the opportunity and the pleasures and discomforts of friendships while it lasts. cos that's the best thing that one can do. :)
you cant be really envious of others who have friends who hold friendships close to their hearts and live their lives with the same bunch of people year after year. there's the bad and good to it. i just leave ya to think about it. in my honest opinion, one cannot live their lives without friends or relationships, be it with ur family or colleagues. man is a social animal. no matter how much you delude yourself that you can stand up on your own two feet, your life is always intertwined and dependent on others. you cant really get money without having a job and a relationship with your boss who pays ya. you cant have a baby without first having a relationship (you can, even if it was ivf. you need to have a relationship with ur doc). heh. so see it in that light.
even if u cut off all ties with your parents or the people who raised ya, and start foraging for food in the jungle, you always have a relationship. just abstractly i guess. hah.
to all those people currently in relationships, keep it real.
to those people finding one, dont try too hard.
for those who just got out of one, God will always be with you and so will your friends n family.
for those of you who are like me, just think of all the good things in life. do as many crazy things as possible and cherish the people who are in your life.
thank you to all.
posted by Shan at 1:52 PM
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