Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask oursleves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?" Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

- Nelson Mandela.

well. i got this off from this girl's blog. interestingly, yesterday i was watching coach carter. and i didnt catch this whole phrase. but it really touched me.

samuel l. jackson asked this kid "what's your greatest fear?". cos this kid will be led astray if someone didnt intervene and made him realise the consequences of his choices.

well. i have a fear. i dare not admit it. but it has been bothering me for a while now. some people know about it. some people dont. but it's always been one weakness that i have.

psychologically. well. i could go through loads of etiologies why i feel this way. but with that said. probably it's not a fear. but somewhat not being able to have someone to talk to. i really don't.

immersing myself in fantasies. fantasies involving fictional characters. albeit on television, movies, books, comic books. probably living other people's lives and not my own.

if handwriting's a proper measure of someone's personality. then looking back at how my handwriting's has changed since primary school, it's not a really good measure.

am i living my own life? am i living a lie? or am i living someone else's life?

can you actually dictate ur own life? how it can be? or do others set it for u?

right now, my biggest fear is not saying what i've kept to myself all these months. not being able to be truthful about my feelings. not being able to be there for the person i care about the most. i may not know what is love entirely. but i do know that i cannot live without her. maybe one day i can move on with life when she's no longer there. but right now. she's my pillar of strength. and the one who will undoubtedly love me as who i am. i may not say this as much as i want to. probably because im ego or what. but right now, i have only four words to say.


i love you mom.