i want to thank God for everything. the courage, the determination and the ability to get past this whole year without much fuss.
i guess in a way, i am thankful for that break i took. Away from people. away from many things in life.
im pretty bummed out over one of my modules, it was totally unexpected. sometimes i wonder if i set too high a goal, and get all pissed off when i cant achieve it. u can say it's ambitious. but i can say it's reachable. i guess different people have different ways of seeing grades. *shrugs*
today was an okay day. compared to yest. yesterday was a whole lot better. well at least before my hands got itchy n peeked at the results. heh. but im just glad. thankful.
the following are just random thoughts.
the first time i met you. wow. it was but a brief moment. after that, it was pretty much downhill. the things i heard about you from my close friends. i mean they were good things. but me. i guess i sorta lost my way. but a fren. someone i regard as a good fren cos she has been totally honest and gave me a slap on the head for being the person i have been so far. she has opened up a whole new world to me. and for that my fren, i will cherish.
the trip to rebutia did somewhat a good effect on me. i reflect on things more. but i cant seem to make myself change. change starts with you. if u want to do it. you can. i just dont know if i can do it. or do i have the strength to do it. i jus hope by the time the new sem starts, it will be a totally new me. again. i miss the lack of lovehandles. sigh.
the days have gone and i havent wondered. about where you stand in my life. all the talk you said yesterday made me realise about all the mistakes u have made. and the mistakes i have made in my life. i just dont want to put you through that whole ordeal again. as messy as it was. i dont want to be chucked aside like how i was. or how mean i have been. i guess i have to know you a little bit more. take things slow. and be that person you've have always dreamed of meeting.
you make me smile. but u also make me quiet. it's a good kind of quiet. i dont know. i get tongue tied. when you walked up to me to say hi, when u reply to my messages, it's a good feeling. i cant seem to put it. but i dont want to fall. this fast. this way. anymore.
so tell me how. so tell me why.
a few things are in the way. of a friendship that is about to begin.
firstly, your ex. secondly, my past. third, 2 mutual friends.
why do i make my life more complicated than it seems. why cant i tell you i miss you so. why cant i tell u im in the same boat? im still looking. you're still looking. it shouldnt be this hard. or issit how i see it? or is it that plain simple.
as i lay and type this, a message tone rings in the background. i hope it is you. but somehow, i have a feeling it isnt. i dont know. i guess i never will till i try.
so let's take it slow....and not screw this up.
i guess in a way, i am thankful for that break i took. Away from people. away from many things in life.
im pretty bummed out over one of my modules, it was totally unexpected. sometimes i wonder if i set too high a goal, and get all pissed off when i cant achieve it. u can say it's ambitious. but i can say it's reachable. i guess different people have different ways of seeing grades. *shrugs*
today was an okay day. compared to yest. yesterday was a whole lot better. well at least before my hands got itchy n peeked at the results. heh. but im just glad. thankful.
the following are just random thoughts.
the first time i met you. wow. it was but a brief moment. after that, it was pretty much downhill. the things i heard about you from my close friends. i mean they were good things. but me. i guess i sorta lost my way. but a fren. someone i regard as a good fren cos she has been totally honest and gave me a slap on the head for being the person i have been so far. she has opened up a whole new world to me. and for that my fren, i will cherish.
the trip to rebutia did somewhat a good effect on me. i reflect on things more. but i cant seem to make myself change. change starts with you. if u want to do it. you can. i just dont know if i can do it. or do i have the strength to do it. i jus hope by the time the new sem starts, it will be a totally new me. again. i miss the lack of lovehandles. sigh.
the days have gone and i havent wondered. about where you stand in my life. all the talk you said yesterday made me realise about all the mistakes u have made. and the mistakes i have made in my life. i just dont want to put you through that whole ordeal again. as messy as it was. i dont want to be chucked aside like how i was. or how mean i have been. i guess i have to know you a little bit more. take things slow. and be that person you've have always dreamed of meeting.
you make me smile. but u also make me quiet. it's a good kind of quiet. i dont know. i get tongue tied. when you walked up to me to say hi, when u reply to my messages, it's a good feeling. i cant seem to put it. but i dont want to fall. this fast. this way. anymore.
so tell me how. so tell me why.
a few things are in the way. of a friendship that is about to begin.
firstly, your ex. secondly, my past. third, 2 mutual friends.
why do i make my life more complicated than it seems. why cant i tell you i miss you so. why cant i tell u im in the same boat? im still looking. you're still looking. it shouldnt be this hard. or issit how i see it? or is it that plain simple.
as i lay and type this, a message tone rings in the background. i hope it is you. but somehow, i have a feeling it isnt. i dont know. i guess i never will till i try.
so let's take it slow....and not screw this up.
posted by Shan at 8:17 PM
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